


May There Be No Sadness of Farewell

by Jackdaw816



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Post-Series 03: Children of Earth (Torchwood), Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-06
Updated: 2020-08-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:07:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25753315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jackdaw816/pseuds/Jackdaw816
Summary: Jack is broken, but there are still those who love him
Relationships: Jack Harkness/Ianto Jones, Jack Harkness/John Hart
Comments: 6
Kudos: 23





	May There Be No Sadness of Farewell

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from "Crossing the Bar" by Alfred Lord Tennyson.

“I know it’s strange coming from me, but you need healthier coping mechanisms.” Even in the din of the bar, Jack heard John’s voice clearly. He groaned and picked up his next shot. The man had a knack for finding him especially when he didn’t want to be found. John sidled up beside him and snatched the shot out of his hand.

“Hypocrite much?” Jack remarked as John threw the shot back. John shrugged.

“Hey, I went to rehab. Moderation, not abstinence.” He looked Jack over distastefully. “You look like you could use some moderation yourself. Smell like it too. How long have you been drowning yourself in the bottom of a bottle?” Jack didn’t answer, just reached for another shot. John snatched that one out of his grasp as well.

“Seriously. You’re a wreck, Jack,” John said, wrinkling his nose. “What are you doing out here in bumfuck America anyway? I thought your little team stuck to-” Jack grabbed John by the collar of his coat and slammed him down on the bar. Another patron shouted, but Jack ignored them.

“You don’t get to talk about them,” Jack hissed then let him go. John sat up wincing.

“Alright, fine,” he sighed. He looked mournfully at the spilled shot, then waved his hand for the bartender. The bartender shot him a look but brought him a drink anyway. Must not have been John’s first visit to this bar. Jack tried to take the glass of vodka from him, but John stopped him. 

“You’re already soused. Any more, either you’ll die or you’ll actually smash my head in if I mention Torchwood.” Jack glared at him, but John wasn’t looking. “Although I don’t know why you left. You were fond of them, especially Eye Candy.” Jack briefly weighed the pros and cons of snapping John’s neck. He settled for clenching his fists and attempting to burn a hole through the bar with his gaze.

“I didn’t leave them. I lost them,” Jack admitted after a moment. “I lost him.” Jack looked up, but John didn’t look shocked. He raised his glass to his lips and took a swig.

“Guess that doctor was telling the truth,” John sighed. Jack tilted his head.

“What are you talking about, John?” Jack demanded, quiet but fierce. John finished his drink then waved his hand vaguely.

“Worked for that paramilitary alien agency joint. Like yours but with a semblance of order and matching hats.”

“UNIT?” Jack asked. “What were you doing with UNIT?”

“I’m extraterrestrial. They like that,” John said with a wink. Jack rolled his eyes. “I may have stolen some tech from one of their warehouses. And they may have managed to take me into custody temporarily.” Jack laughed, a mournful sound, but a laugh nonetheless.

“You got overpowered by UNIT?” Jack asked, voice full of mockery. John punched him in the shoulder hard enough to leave a bruise. At least it would have on a normal person.

“Anyway, that’s where I met Marie? Marsha? Something with an M.” Jack smiled. Martha Jones, voice of a nightingale. John carried on, oblivious. “Apparently, she heard they’d taken Captain JH into custody and thought I was you.”

“That’s what you get for plagiarizing my name,” Jack muttered. John either didn’t hear him or didn’t care.

“I told her that you and I were old partners and she told me that you’d traveled together with a friend, although she wouldn’t say exactly who,” John said, raising an eyebrow. 

“Doesn’t matter,” Jack said sternly. John and the Doctor were both important parts of his life, but they were parts that he would very much like to keep separate. Luckily, John just shrugged and moved on.

“Well, she told me about the 456.” Jack flinched, he couldn’t help it. John’s face softened. “I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Is that why you’re here then?” Jack asked harshly. “Is it coincidence or are you still the same opportunistic vulture?” John looked almost offended.

“I’m wounded. I’m not a vulture, but it’s not a coincidence.” John paused for a second and seemed to reconsider. “Okay, it was a coincidence that I was in this specific bar. This place has got bloody champagne on tap.” Jack stifled a chuckle. “But I’d tracked you down to this city intentionally.

“How’d you find me? I don’t have my vortex manipulator.” Jack said bitterly, holding up his bare wrist. John nodded in sympathy.

“I noticed. When I tried to track you down after leaving UNIT, your VM signal led me to Gwen instead.” He made a face that Jack couldn’t decipher. “She said you’d gone AWOL.”

“I couldn’t stay there.” Jack shook his head. “I can’t stay on this planet. But I needed to go back eventually, so I could send a signal and leave.”

“You really don’t want to leave this world, do you?” John asked. If Jack didn’t know any better, he would say John was shocked. “Sure, it’s retro, but that suits you. You’ve always been a down-to-earth bloke, despite your flamboyance.”

“This whole world is like a graveyard,” Jack sighed. “It’s too small. No matter how far I go, I see him everywhere.”

“That’s not going to get much better off-world,” John pointed out. “You can run as far as you like, but you carry him with you. You’ll see him until you have closure and you’re not going to find that on some desolate alien rock.”

“So, what?” Jack snapped. “You just want me to move on? Forget him?” John frowned.

“If that’s what you want, I can arrange oblivion,” John said, hand hanging ominously by his gun. Jack scoffed. Been there, done that. “But no. I want you to go back to Cardiff. Back to Gwen.” Jack scoffed again, louder.

“Why should I care? She’s got a husband and a kid on the way. She can have a normal life, a safe, long life, without me around.”  _ Unlike Ianto _ went unsaid, but both men heard it.

“Because she’s your friend and she is hurting without you, Jack,” John snapped. Jack gave him a look.

“Why do you care about Gwen?” Jack asked, genuinely perplexed. John smirked.

“I don’t care about Gwen,” John said honestly. “I care about you. But you’re both suffering for having to cope with this loss apart.” Jack scowled and looked away. John was probably right. He hated it when John was right.

“I can’t go back there, John,” Jack said, deflecting. “Even for Gwen. It’s just too soon.” It had only been a few months. And he’d lost Tosh and Owen not long before that. So much death. He looked back to see John looking almost thoughtful.

“Fine. I get it. You still need to run.” John reached in his coat and pulled out Jack’s vortex manipulator, complete with a new leather bracer. Jack eyed it eagerly, but when he reached out, John pulled it away. “But you’re not going to run alone.” Jack twitched.

“With you?” Jack asked, trying not to let his concept infuse his tone. He failed. “Gee, how selfless of you.”

“I never said I was being selfless,” John said, amused. “I care about you. I love you.” He trailed his fingers over Jack’s arm and Jack let him. “And the only way you’re going to get over this is if someone who loves you is willing to kick your ass back into sobriety and help you move on.”

“You know I’m not going to take you back,” Jack warned. He caught just a flicker of something dark in John’s gaze before he smiled gently.

“Never say never.” He passed Jack his vortex manipulator and Jack strapped it on eagerly. “But whether you love me back or not, you still need help. And since you won’t ask for it-” He got to his feet, tossing a few bills on the bar. Jack stood as well, unwilling to be left behind. “I’m afraid I will have to force it upon you.” John started walking, forcing Jack to drunkenly scurry after him.

“Where are we going?” Jack asked, trying to sound more in control of the situation that he was. John pushed open the door and the pair walked out into the cold. It was snowing and Jack instinctively shivered. Why he’d chosen to spend the winter in the American Midwest, he couldn’t say. It was land-locked and cold, the polar opposite of Boeshane.

John looked up at the sky, snow landing softly in his hair. He turned to smile at Jack. “We’re going wherever you want to go. As long as it’s not Vegas. Been there, done that.”

“Got banned?” Jack asked, smirking. John’s grin didn’t waver.

“We’re in America, gonna have to plead the fifth.” That was as good as a yes from John. Jack sighed and pulled his coat tighter around his shoulders. He could fasten it up, but that wasn’t as good a look.

“For tonight, let’s stay. I’m renting a room here. Let’s go back there and we can leave in the morning,” Jack said. John just nodded. “It’s not far.” Jack started walking and this time John scurried after him.

“How long have you been here?” John asked conversationally as they walked.

“America? A month. This state? A week.” Jack shrugged. “It’s not bad.” John pouted.

“When have you ever settled for not bad?” he teased. Jack frowned. He’d done a lot of settling since he left the Agency. Most of the glamour was only seen through rose-colored glasses. Jack had learned better.

“Since now,” Jack said finally and John didn’t push it. It wasn’t until they were coming up on the semi-shady apartment building that either of them spoke again.

“Settling!” John teased sing-songy as they climbed the crumbling stone steps. Jack pointed the key threateningly at him. 

“Watch it or I won’t let you in the bed.” John smiled innocently as Jack finished unlocking the door.

“Fine, I’ll play nice,” John said in the tone that meant he’d be pushing Jack’s limits all night. Jack sighed heavily as they started to climb the stairs. Then he laughed, almost spontaneously. “What’s so funny?” John asked dubiously. Jack’s laughter petered off as he reached the next flight.

“Nothing. It’s just-” Jack cut off. He wasn’t sure. They reached Jack’s floor and Jack fumbled with the keys again. “I guess it’s just nice having someone around.” Jack intently focused on the lock so that he wouldn’t have to see John’s face.

“I’m honored, really,” John said, tone carefully measured so Jack had no idea if he was teasing for not. As Jack turned the doorknob, John stepped closer. He pressed a kiss to the very corner of Jack’s mouth, carefully toeing the line between platonic and more. “It’ll get better. I promise.”

“The end is where we start from,” Jack sighed. Then they stepped into the apartment and closed the door behind them. He’d faced the end before. He could do it again. And he wouldn’t have to do it alone.


End file.
